ABACOT
baconik:

I don’t know about you losers
but this is who I’m voting for, except I’d rather have it:
BILL NYE THE PRESIDENT GUY.

baconik:

I don’t know about you losers

but this is who I’m voting for, except I’d rather have it:

BILL NYE THE PRESIDENT GUY.

Why is it that all presidents have to major in law? Were are the scientist, the engineers, the rest of life? We need a guy with reason, logic and who understands the world. A guy who knows how things work. We need a science guy!

 LETS MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!

Why is it that all presidents have to major in law? Were are the scientist, the engineers, the rest of life? We need a guy with reason, logic and who understands the world. A guy who knows how things work. We need a science guy!

LETS MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!

There seem to be people in this world that think series of unfortunate events was a less then fantastic movie.

Yall need Jesus.

I made a dildo that runs on blank ak47 rounds!
Shocking new research changes our perspective on alien life
By Crogg of the solar fields

For long now we have studied the far away h2o overrun world, using primitive telescopes that left much to be desired. Of cores our scientists have done their best to explain what our star borne neighbors are like but now with new light extending technology, that has vastly improved upon the old, we are happy to announce some fascinating revisions!

As you know the life on planet h2o has long been studied but very seldom understood, it was first discovered by Seelock of sudden light who announced that it had more h2o than any planet we had ever seen, while this was scientifically fascinating, the planet was instantly ruled out as a candidate for life because the poisonous h2o would be incapable of supporting life.

Even when light extending magnification was invented the planet was thought to be baron. It wasn’t until we started to observe small probes being launched into orbit that we realized it was home to nothing less then life on a gigantic scale!

We now see that the numbers of living creatures on this planet dwarfs our numbers with organisms numbering into the billions! They are small, being 5 feet wide and 8 or so feet long, they would be very light on our planet but we calculate that they would weigh thousands of pounds on h2o, this could explain their short square shape and build.  they are extremely organized much like some of our insect species with impressive structures built in order to store food and supplies, but as I began, there has been radical changes in new years.

At first it was said that the creatures were square, extremely quick and strangest of all they do not eat with mouths like you and I but rather excrete a very small gelatin saliva that is capable of attaching to a food supply and digesting it, at least partially, before returning to the body with the much needed nutrition. Often we can see packs that go from a destination meant for rest to a larger destination to eat. The large buildings are store houses that  are used to keep and harvest food. There are larger workers that move supplies from one place to another. It is assumed that they build these large vessels in order to keep the poisonous h2o away from their food supply.

This theory has now, however , been disproved! We now believe that the masses excreted from the larger bodies are not produced by the body but in fact are parasites! Further magnification has shown that the creatures move too and fro at will and indeed do seek out  food for them selves. The food provided to the host body is not actually  the lions share as we had previously believed but is actually merely the food left on the parasite that is licked off or groomed off while inside the larger vessel. This explains why the large bodied creatures sleep as often as they do. The food they use is actually very little for their size and weight so they spend the majority of their life sleeping  to conserve energy. 

Still very little is known about these parasitic creatures but it is widely believed that they are actually the builders and shapers of this world while the larger creatures are more like pachyderms. They are extremely small being only 5 or 6 feet high, about the size of a child’s toy. they are mostly pale but also can be darker or brown.

They seem to have some limited social skills, for instance, the small twiggy creatures will work together for construction and sometimes even gather in large groups in order to view certain mating displays. The complex display involves a light show and what appears to be some kind of shout or roar. The mobs seem to be so tightly grouped that we imagine this to be a large mating ritual with the goal of impressing the displayer. At the end we cant make out what, if any, mate is chosen but it is obvious that some organisms have a much higher place in the hierarchy than others.

Another prime example of this is also a newly corrected misconception. We have observed large thin flat structures erected from time to time. Once constructed the boards have bright lights shined on them, so this was mostly thought to reflect and scatter the light, therefore raising the amount of ambient light in the area. Now we can see that the large boards actually have images on them of the organisms them selves! 
But why would these alien creatures put themselves on display? The answer is simple. The creatures depicted are very thin and unhealthy. This sign acts as a warning and incentive to the rest of the colony. Seeing the thin dieing creature will puff up the apatite of the other workers and will cause them to consume more. It is assumed that most of the images are produced very near death. We have come to see that the creatures are a very harsh judge, letting only the fit survive. When a wounded or starving creature is near death, they are shunned and forced to become strong or die. 

We have observed small creatures being chased by larger ones or followed. It seems the smaller and thinner are never left alone and this ensures that they get only the smallest portion of the goods. Conversely the larger the animal is the more space it seems to have. Often the path will clear for a very large specimen. They seem to be alone a greater amount of the time and will only mate with a creature of similar or equal size, although there are acceptations to this rule. Is seems the thin are often and consistently shamed in this world.

All this new information may be overwhelming but there seems to be no limit to what we will learn. As we all well know, light extension is not an exact science and we only have snapshots of what this new world is really like. Soon we will understand these creatures even better as research continues. 

Finally, it may seem like these creatures have intelligence similar to our own, however this is not the case. What they do, they do on instinct, not thought. The construction and socializing are merely tools of survival and show no signs of self awareness. 
So as of now we are still Gods only creations capable of feeling and transcendental thought I’m sad to say. 
I for one still hold in my chest cavity the possibility of intelligent life.

Shocking new research changes our perspective on alien life

By Crogg of the solar fields

For long now we have studied the far away h2o overrun world, using primitive telescopes that left much to be desired. Of cores our scientists have done their best to explain what our star borne neighbors are like but now with new light extending technology, that has vastly improved upon the old, we are happy to announce some fascinating revisions!

As you know the life on planet h2o has long been studied but very seldom understood, it was first discovered by Seelock of sudden light who announced that it had more h2o than any planet we had ever seen, while this was scientifically fascinating, the planet was instantly ruled out as a candidate for life because the poisonous h2o would be incapable of supporting life.

Even when light extending magnification was invented the planet was thought to be baron. It wasn’t until we started to observe small probes being launched into orbit that we realized it was home to nothing less then life on a gigantic scale!

We now see that the numbers of living creatures on this planet dwarfs our numbers with organisms numbering into the billions! They are small, being 5 feet wide and 8 or so feet long, they would be very light on our planet but we calculate that they would weigh thousands of pounds on h2o, this could explain their short square shape and build.  they are extremely organized much like some of our insect species with impressive structures built in order to store food and supplies, but as I began, there has been radical changes in new years.

At first it was said that the creatures were square, extremely quick and strangest of all they do not eat with mouths like you and I but rather excrete a very small gelatin saliva that is capable of attaching to a food supply and digesting it, at least partially, before returning to the body with the much needed nutrition. Often we can see packs that go from a destination meant for rest to a larger destination to eat. The large buildings are store houses that  are used to keep and harvest food. There are larger workers that move supplies from one place to another. It is assumed that they build these large vessels in order to keep the poisonous h2o away from their food supply.

This theory has now, however , been disproved! We now believe that the masses excreted from the larger bodies are not produced by the body but in fact are parasites! Further magnification has shown that the creatures move too and fro at will and indeed do seek out  food for them selves. The food provided to the host body is not actually  the lions share as we had previously believed but is actually merely the food left on the parasite that is licked off or groomed off while inside the larger vessel. This explains why the large bodied creatures sleep as often as they do. The food they use is actually very little for their size and weight so they spend the majority of their life sleeping  to conserve energy. 

Still very little is known about these parasitic creatures but it is widely believed that they are actually the builders and shapers of this world while the larger creatures are more like pachyderms. They are extremely small being only 5 or 6 feet high, about the size of a child’s toy. they are mostly pale but also can be darker or brown.

They seem to have some limited social skills, for instance, the small twiggy creatures will work together for construction and sometimes even gather in large groups in order to view certain mating displays. The complex display involves a light show and what appears to be some kind of shout or roar. The mobs seem to be so tightly grouped that we imagine this to be a large mating ritual with the goal of impressing the displayer. At the end we cant make out what, if any, mate is chosen but it is obvious that some organisms have a much higher place in the hierarchy than others.

Another prime example of this is also a newly corrected misconception. We have observed large thin flat structures erected from time to time. Once constructed the boards have bright lights shined on them, so this was mostly thought to reflect and scatter the light, therefore raising the amount of ambient light in the area. Now we can see that the large boards actually have images on them of the organisms them selves! 

But why would these alien creatures put themselves on display? The answer is simple. The creatures depicted are very thin and unhealthy. This sign acts as a warning and incentive to the rest of the colony. Seeing the thin dieing creature will puff up the apatite of the other workers and will cause them to consume more. It is assumed that most of the images are produced very near death. We have come to see that the creatures are a very harsh judge, letting only the fit survive. When a wounded or starving creature is near death, they are shunned and forced to become strong or die. 

We have observed small creatures being chased by larger ones or followed. It seems the smaller and thinner are never left alone and this ensures that they get only the smallest portion of the goods. Conversely the larger the animal is the more space it seems to have. Often the path will clear for a very large specimen. They seem to be alone a greater amount of the time and will only mate with a creature of similar or equal size, although there are acceptations to this rule. Is seems the thin are often and consistently shamed in this world.

All this new information may be overwhelming but there seems to be no limit to what we will learn. As we all well know, light extension is not an exact science and we only have snapshots of what this new world is really like. Soon we will understand these creatures even better as research continues. 

Finally, it may seem like these creatures have intelligence similar to our own, however this is not the case. What they do, they do on instinct, not thought. The construction and socializing are merely tools of survival and show no signs of self awareness. 

So as of now we are still Gods only creations capable of feeling and transcendental thought I’m sad to say. 

I for one still hold in my chest cavity the possibility of intelligent life.

Doot Doot
Anonymous

Dude that’s racist.

Just farted really big in a public restroom. Now I have to wait until everyone leaves so they don’t see me leave the stall.

He is a walker,
He walks to leave
but always comes back
His feet are sore
And he cannot be tracked
But he feels no better.

He trys to see
He looks through the dust
To see only more
Still in the dust
He could almost be pure
But he feels no better

He is a clawler
He creeps through the shadows
And seeks his delight
And causes dispar
Can wrong really make right?
But he feels no better

He is loved
He needs and is needed
All his misery yours
He holds hands in the sun
He Could want nothing more!
But he feels no better

He is absent
He stands in the dark
With only his mind
There is nothing ahead
There is nothing behind
He feels better

But he feels nothing.

So like do other countries actually say porridge?
For your poll I believe everyone should always be naked then the world would not have fat shaming and other body issues.
Anonymous

Good job! You passed our test, and you can be our friend.

A poll

Would you rather everyone was naked?
Or no one was ever naked?

What should my next hilarious joke be about? I want options people!